my only new year's resolution

inward and onward

“If all you did this year was make something beautiful from the broken pieces, even just once, maybe you did enough.” — @alexmammadyarov

I light the wood burner and wonder about the crooked grains in the logs. Was it high winds, harsh conditions, or erosion of soil that caused this wavy path to be the tree’s most natural way upward? Despite these elements, it’s evident in the offering of firewood and the many gifts that came before, that a straight and predictable path isn’t a precedent for growth with purpose.

Unlike my attempt to make plans and direct the course of my life, I imagine the wise Oak, Maple, and Poplar outside my window made no resolutions for the new year. No goal setting strategy changed their upward spiral.  Only the trusted source of sun, earth, air, and water to guide each twist and turn.  Do trees dream of places to go, or reminisce on where they’ve been?  Do they conceive of expanding beyond those widening circles of their trunks?

Roots twirling deeply, branches reaching lightly. 

Inhale receiving.  Exhale releasing. 

Inhale rooting.  Exhale settling. 

There is nothing else needed. No lists or fixes. No responsibilities that need more from them. The only resolution needed here is a close connection to all that is.

Cleary, their way is to align with the seasonal and lunar cycles, going deeper within come January, at the turn of our human imposed “new year.”

I imagine their secret is to allow the cold to clear before a natural awakening stirs at the roots and a new cycle commences as the energy is pulled upward.

I imagine their way is to find form and resources from within.

To embrace the song of the bird that sits for a while.

To allow the woodpecker to have its way.

To watch the perfection of each leaf formed.

To thank the ripples of water finding their way to nourish the deepest and darkest places.

To act collectively, and not just individually. They know what happens to one, happens to all. 

Like these Great Ones which bear oppositions, we too can hold both pain and gratitude, despair and hope, contraction and expansion, in the same breath. Miraculous. Despite a meandering path and a feeling of being eroded at our roots as we attempt to stabilize, perhaps we grow our own widening circles in this way — when we are connected, we are directed, and we are eternally guided to experience all of it.

And so it is.

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