more than what you came for

on presence with pain

Continuing from my last entry “seeking healing, remembering wholeness”, consider the words, audio reading, and guided meditation below as part 3.

For deeper listening in the experience of pain.

For learning to ride the waves of wisdom in pain.

For grace and presence for what is hurting within.

Your body is wise and always adapting for your wholeness.

When you accept this exploration, you will see that searching has led you to more questions, and to a deeper presence with pain.

Releasing what ‘no longer serves’ may seem beneficial, and sometimes letting go is, but remember that energy knows how long to stay and when to go. It knows how to move to a point of resolve, like leaves letting go in Autumn. 

Practice releasing your judgment. Be present with whatever is happening in this moment.  Instead of asking, “what’s wrong with me?”  be present and open to asking, "body, what do you need?”

If you find yourself resisting and frustrated with pain, notice it’s like a frightened animal in a cage. Rather than plead with it to come out, you must go into the cage and put your hands on this little one that is scared and hurting. Be with it in the cage and offer it your presence.

You will feel it settle and relax in your hands as you both drift off to sleep. When you wake up, notice how you walk gently and slowly out of the cage together.  Go into the cage as many times as you need to, so you can both be free.  You already are.

Even when you've felt lost and disconnected because your thoughts have been attached to the way things should be, or the experience you think you should, or shouldn't be having, you have never been alone.

If you feel this way, lift yourself up from wherever you are and go to the nearest patch of Earth, hold a stone in your hand, or touch your forehead to the trunk of a tree. 

Feel your feet on the Earth, and feel the energy moving up through your entire body.  Receive the air in your lungs and breathe. 

Follow this call to presence, to steadiness within the chaos, to the breath within your breath. 

Let the element of air move anywhere in your body that needs comforted, and to any areas of pain that need love. Keep noticing the places within you that are receptive and open. 

Your body is the safest place to be.

Your body is not broken. It’s been showing you how to heal.

Communicate with your nervous system through your breath so your body knows it's safe to be here.

When you offer your body these new resources, it will work with them and learn new patterns.

This practice will taste like sweetness in the bitter tea you’ve been drinking — the honey at the bottom of the cup.

sit with pain and sip it slowly
like a warm tea of bitter herbs
offering presence without conditions

sit with pain and breathe it in slowly
like cold winter air stinging at your neck
breathing in, you are
breathing out, here now

sip and breathe
all the way to the bottom
darkness and surrender

sip and breathe
all the way to the bottom
sweetness to remember

Do you see that you're receiving even more than what you came for? 

As you are present with pain, you will find unconditional love there too.  Like sitting by the creek and asking for relief from your thirst, watch how your hands gradually move to the water and gather the elements of your unrealized power. 

Heaven and hell are both right here in this space.  One will feel like judgment, and the other one is pure grace. 

In the audio below, I invite you to sit with me for a guided meditation, and be supported by a plant ally in whatever pain or discomfort you’re experiencing. May this practice guide you (as it has for me) to even more than what you came for.

Some of the plants I’ve worked closely with on my healing journey with migraine include: Copaiba, Lavender, Rosemary, Tulsi, Motherwort, Skullcap, Wild Lettuce, St. John’s Wort, White Willow, Blue Vervain, and Rose.